Here’s a letter from Wendi to the Pure Jeevan family. I prettied it up a little with some color and graphics.  -Jim

Hi there, lovely Pure Jeevan family! I’ll be away from the computer for a month, working on some deep healing. It’s time to go within and really hear what my body and spirit are saying.

This Lyme Disease hasn’t been easy to heal. It turns out that the lyme bacteria can alter its DNA in order to avoid the host’s immune system. It makes sense that something that powerful would be the thing that can bring a raw foodie down. I’m lucky that my immune system is as strong as it is, however, because once the bacteria begins compromising the immune system, it can escalate to a point where it causes severe neurological problems.

We’ve been monitoring my health (and I’m under the care of a lyme specialist) and so far the majority of my symptoms are severe arthritis in my shoulders and arms. The pain is severe enough that I’m unable to do many things that we take for granted in daily living: chopping vegetables, showering, getting dressed, sleeping, hugging those we love, etc.

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The raw diet helps individuals who have arthritis for many reasons, the main one being that it reduces inflamation. I don’t even want to imagine the pain I’d be experiencing if I wasn’t on a raw food diet.

An interesting thing about going through a health crisis: Food cravings are back! I think part of it is physical (the bacteria stirring things up), but a lot of it is emotional. I smell things and I remember how it used to make me feel (numb and sedated) and I desire that feeling again (even though I also remember that on a physical level it actually made me feel ill, as well).

It’s not just the smell of things, though. It’s the stress of knowing that you’ve done everything to gain a high level of health and then here you are, filled with pain and unable to live an active, healthy life because you are debilitated. It’s frustrating at times, and I feel like: Why shouldn’t I just eat such-and-such?! What difference will it make? I’m already not healthy. By not eating those things, it’s not making me healthier, it’s not healing me when I don’t eat them! At that point the tears usually start falling because I know deep inside that I want to continue being healthy on a deep level, that my cravings are borne out of frustration and helplessness.

That’s the main thing that this Lyme Disease has brought out in me: Helplessness. I have to rely on others to help me with normal daily tasks, or else I end up in even more pain. I have to ask for help, too, because my needs aren’t always obvious without me stating them. Here’s the thing, though…

I brought this all on myself! You know that whole law of attraction stuff — that we manifest in our lives that which we think about, desire, etc.? Well, not long before I began experiencing the symptoms of Lyme Disease, I said *out loud* to Jim and KDcat: Sometimes I just wish I had someone to take care of me. I wish someone would just scoop me up, give me a bath, hold me and cuddle me, feed me and take care of all my needs. (Prior to saying that out loud, that desire had only ever been in my head — and it had been there a very long time.)

That desire to have someone else care for me probably stems from deep psychological scars of not having all of my needs met as a child. My entire life I was connected with others, aware of their needs, always feeling their pain and trying to help them find a happier way of existing. Even here at Pure Jeevan, I’m here to help others. It’s been the biggest part of who I am — I’m Wendi, the one who you can rely on for unconditional love and understanding, the one who will help you if she can.

Many of you have followed my story about how I brought about the biggest changes in my life. You’ve learned that the largest factor in bringing me back to life and health was the single act of loving myself. Well, it seems that loving oneself is something that needs to continually be worked on for some of us, or else we can fall back into patterns of helping others and forgetting about ourselves once again.

What I know now is that my desire for someone to care for me, to fulfill all of my needs and make me feel loved and whole and safe, can’t come from outside of myself. Jim has stepped up and taken on that role, without complaint and with love and compassion in his heart. His caring has deepened our relationship as he has met all of my needs. All that I spoke out loud has come true. I am essentially helpless and having all of my needs lovingly met.

But, guess what? It ends up that isn’t enough. It’s not enough because that’s not really what I was desiring on a deeper level. You have to be careful what you ask for, because the Universe is going to deliver it in the way that you are thinking about at the time you’re asking. I’m not fully sure what it was that I was desiring, but I know that all that I truly need is within me. I know that my needs can be met from within.

So, I’m taking a month-long healing break. I’ll be going deep within and listening to what my body is telling me. In the silence, I’ll be able to hear and understand myself even more. This is going to be a physical time of healing, as well as a spiritual, mental, and emotional one. My entire life I’ve been taking these journeys within and without fail, I emerge with an even brighter spirit, in a body that is much healthier and happier.

Jim will continue updating this blog five days a week, because we want to keep you motivated along your raw food journey! So, be sure to keep dropping by and leaving comments so he knows you are enjoying his posts! I’ll probably be helping him with content, I just won’t be here at the computer doing things during my break.

I’m going to miss all of you, but I need to take this time for myself. I know I’ll return healthier, happier, and more myself — with arms wide open ready to embrace all of you once again!

I love you all so very much!!!

Wendi
XOXOXO

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