It’s been a while since we offered an update on Wendi’s health challenge. So, I asked if she felt up to writing a blog post to let everyone know what she’s going through, highlighting a few new directions taken of late.  As usual, I added some color splashes and graphics here and there, just for aesthetics. But, the following post is from Wendi. -Jim

Many thanks and lots of love go out to all of you for the love and support you’ve been sending my way. I can’t spend much time at the computer, but Jim has been trying to keep up with my email and he’s been passing along your love, concern, advice, and healing energy. Thanks so much for everything, including the things that have arrived through the postal service. I definitely feel the love from all of you and I want you to know that each and every one of you means so much to me! * blows kisses *

Here’s the truth about how I’ve been and what I’ve been going through: My healing has been extremely slow (so it’s difficult to see the progress most days), making this one of the most difficult times of my life. Many of you know me as a loving, centered/grounded, spiritual individual who sees and lives beyond most “negative” things in life. Even though that part of me is still very much who I am at my core, it’s not always easy to be present/loving/centered/peaceful when your life seems to have been turned upside down and your body is in varying degrees of pain on a daily basis.

I cry a lot some days. I don’t like to cause my loved ones distress by seeing that I’m upset and in pain, but after years of psychotherapy, I’ve learned that keeping my feelings/emotions locked inside is even more unhealthy in the long run. So, the tears come … a lot of them. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by all that this lyme disease has brought with it, I have to admit that my tears slightly freak me out a bit. The lyme bacteria may *possibly* be excreted through tears, so I have to be careful that my family doesn’t wipe them away. It’s a scary thought that a loved one could potentially pick up the lyme bacteria by simply wiping away the tears of someone, isn’t it?

The main reason this is so difficult for me is that I worked so hard to regain my health. I reached a level of health and happiness (on all levels — physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally) through hard work, dedication, and self love; I took control of my life, of my health and happiness. Then, a tiny bacteria entered my body (cloaked in an invisibility cloak that my immune system couldn’t recognize) and my health no longer seemed to be in my control. The cleanest diet in the world can’t help a body defend against a bacterial invasion that the body doesn’t even recognize at first. I felt overwhelmed and helpless in the beginning, but I’ve since been feeling more optimistic.

When the lyme bacteria first enters the body, the immune system can’t detect it. However, when I began taking an appropriate antibiotic, my body recognized the dying bacteria and the toxins they produce (it’s actually the dying bacteria and their toxins that cause most of the pain for those with lyme disease), and my immune system was able to begin working on bringing my body back into a healthy balance. It’s a tough undertaking, so I’ve been doing as much as I possibly can to assist my body in this healing/cleansing process it must go through. From all the research I’ve done, it’s clear that this could take years for most bodies to overcome (if ever). As I said in my last update, that’s not going to be the case for me! I know my body can regain its balance/health much quicker than someone who’s living a standard American lifestyle.

The morning before my latest appointment with the lyme specialist, I had reached a point of physical saturation from all of the medication and supplements. My body made it very clear that it wouldn’t accept anything else. I became very ill, the medications burned the lining of my throat as they came back up, and I fell into a deep sleep on the bathroom floor. Jim found me there, hours later (he and KDcat had gone out for the morning). It was scary for Jim to see me there when he returned (and I’m grateful KDcat didn’t witness it). I was in severe pain in my shoulders from sleeping on the hard tile floor, but something had changed. There was a deep, inner knowing that was present. I knew that I could no longer, would no longer, fill my body with medications and supplements that kill the bacteria. It was too much on my body, too much on my spirit to know that I was fighting with something. I gave up the fight, gave up the struggle, and a sense of peace filled my being.

My visit with the lyme specialist MD the next day went well. I was a bit nervous about telling him that I decided I wouldn’t be taking any more medications, but he put me at ease. What a fantastic doctor! What he said was something like:

No one knows how to cure this disease. If you feel that your body knows what it wants to do, then you should follow your instinct. I have no problem with you stopping the antibiotic at this point, although one more month might give your body a bit more assistance with eliminating the bacteria.

He is such a wonderful doctor. He listens to me, doesn’t assume I’m an idiot, and even encourages me to follow what I feel is right for my body. He said that with lyme disease treatment, the doctors learn as much from patients as the patients do from the doctors.

So, I am no longer on medication. The pain is sharper without the medication, but there is an overall sense of deeper health when my body isn’t filled with all of those antibiotics and supplements. My tummy barely had room for food because of all of the pills I was swallowing (no, I haven’t lost weight; in fact, I’ve gained weight because the bacteria is causing complications with my thyroid — but, my weight will normalize again when my body is healed from this). Taking antibiotics and massive amounts of herbs/supplements was certainly not the right path for my healing, but I’m not sorry I took that route for a bit.

My new protocol is one of nourishment and love. When I feel the pain, most times I go within and let the bacteria know that it’s causing me pain. I truly don’t believe that any of us (yes, even something like a bacteria) would cause harm to another if we knew a better way to get what we need. So, I talk to the bacteria at times and let it know when it’s causing me pain. It may sound really strange to be doing something like that, but I know we are ALL connected and one, so in some way the bacteria must be able to understand me. Anyway, the pain seems to diminish at those times (but, I do acknowledge that the pain relief could come from other reasons).

The lyme specialist MD said that there’s a chance that at this point, after taking the antibiotics and herbal protocol for over two months, that my immune system may be able to take over. He said if my body could produce enough white blood cells on a continual basis, I have a good chance of healing. That’s exactly what I was feeling that morning on the bathroom floor: my body can do this. I don’t need to be filling my body with bacteria-killing substances anymore. I don’t need to be killing anything. I need to be nurturing and building up my body so that it can do what it needs to do in order to be healthy, vibrant, and able to live a long life.

Something the specialist said brought up a radical thought on something I could be doing to help my body heal from this disease. I’m not ready to share what I’ve been doing, but it’s certainly quite radical. I’m going to try to scientifically document my findings to share with all of you in the near future. Even if it’s a failed experiment, I know you’ll all find it fascinating!

So, that’s how I’ve been. I still cry a lot at times. I have times when I’m filled with peace, as well. During this entire ordeal, however, I have never lost the knowledge that I WILL be well once again. I’ve been learning a lot about myself through this experience (and I’ll share that another time). For now, however, I wanted to let you know how things are going and I wanted to say how thankful I am for your continued love and support. I am blessed to have you all in my life!

Special thanks go to Jim who has been taking on a tremendous amount of extra work both here at Pure Jeevan and at home. He lovingly prepares all of my meals, helps me do the things that most people take for granted, and never complains that he has next to no time for himself. If you’ve been enjoying his updates on Pure Jeevan, be sure to let him know. I’ve admired his dedication in keeping this site and community alive as I take time away to help my body heal.

Lots of love to all of you!

Wendi
XOXOXO

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