When Others Are “Concerned” — Part Two

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So it’s time to continue that discussion on the aforementioned fringe one percent — those people who will not accept your conscious intention to pursue your own health via this path. Please keep in mind during this discussion that we’re only discussing just that one percent, not people in general. So, this is, I hope, relatively rare.

To begin, I’d like to stress a few points:

  • First, you have to truly understand that other people’s acceptance of your decisions is absolutely unnecessary;  it’s a power we give away all too easily. Pursuing optimal health is something that you need to do for yourself. This is something that Wendi has spoken and written about often, in fact, as it represents a fundamental concept. Usually, the costs involved in making this decision range from making lifestyle changes to perhaps inadvertently ruffling a few people’s feathers. But on rare occasions, the cost can potentially mean an extremely difficult choice you’ll have to make (if others force you to make that choice).
      
  • Second, this is a touchy topic for me because it’s one in which I have personal, if indirect, experience. As such, I’m not sure as I write this whether I’ll be able to provide you with an objective account. But, then again, I don’t mind letting you in on my personal feelings. So, just know that the information and experiences you’ll read here represent the perspective of someone who witnessed one of these rare happennings.

What happened to Wendi, and by extension to me and to KDcaT, is something I wish on no one. It’ my sincere hope that what I’m describing as a fringe 1% is just as rare as that. In other words, I’m trying to shed at least a modicum of optimism on this rather unhappy post. Still, it’s necessary to cover, so let’s get to it.

We once had a close group of friends here in Pittsburgh, pretty much as close as anyone can get – did the whole group vacation thing, camping trips, sleep-overs for the kids, dinner meetings, holiday hang-outs, the whole nine. On the whole, it was wonderful to have friends that felt like family. Our kids grew up together more like siblings or cousins.

I’ll skip the ugly parts. In brief, raw proved too much for our relationship with those people, ultimately leading to a complete, highly painful and permanent falling out. The details are simply too unbelievable to recount here, but I’m still absolutely shocked by this, as our friends always seemed remarkably accepting. Whether someone was gay or vegan or lactose intolerant or pagan or whatever … it was one of the more accepting bunches I’ve ever encountered. Ever.

Naturally, you ask yourself, “Why?” And once again we enter the murky waters of human psychology. So, it’s all theoretical from here on out. Instead of focusing on our example case, as described above, let’s generalize: Why would someone in your life absolutely reject your dietary choice — even after you’ve explained it to them nicely as I described yesterday — to the point of active, intense, in-your-face opposition?

I’ll first share one possible reason, although I suspect it’s not the true explanation (which I’ll get to in a moment). But, it is at least possible that you’re simply running up against 100% diametrically opposed convictions held by the other person. For example, imagine a person who, for some reason unknown to us, believes with all of her heart that eating exclusively raw food is simply wrong, on par with some unforgivable “sin against humanity” or something. She may well feel it is her duty to stop at nothing in convincing you otherwise. Okay, that’s at least within the realm of possibility.

But, here’s another:  You become a mirror. Your new health and vibrancy is in fact so remarkable, so reflective, that people intuitively begin to understand what they’re doing differently — only they’re too ingrained at the moment to consider changing the practices that they now understand as unhealthy. I see this time and time again in the world. I believe I alluded to it a few weeks back when we were talking about live blood cell analysis, a controversial field.  Where does the controversy stem from, though? Could it be the “mirror” that vegans become when their blood is scientifically proven to be healthier than the blood of those who follow poor diets?  How should we, as vegans, regard that fact?  Not smugly, I hope… but should we be ashamed of it? Proud of it? All rhetorical questions…

And so what happens?  You start off morbidly obese, thankfully accepted (perhaps even enabled, sustained) by your friends as such. But then you magically become healthy before their eyes. Pounds effortlessly fall away, old health concerns dry up an leave you, you acquire a glow and a vibrancy, a lighter existence, looking and feeling and acting younger than before – all from the “radical” choice that you followed of your own determined volition.

Sadly, eating more fruits and vegetables is just too much for some people to bear, even some of the more ostensibly accepting people on the planet. And so the addiction they have to their lifestyles and food choices can actually manifest as bitter jealousy. But, I’ve thought too much about it now to still feel the sting of their vitriol (although I admit that I’m still upset about certain aspects of the whole thing). In the end, I’m conforted that the same solution to my own physical well being (which trickled down rather pleasantly to mental, emotional, and spiritual well being) is also available to them — and I can only lovingly hope that they find it someday, too.

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