Okay, I had to make my journal friends-only from now on. I went back and changed some of the more recent posts to friends-only, as well. I've gone through a huge emotional detox and have realized that I had a very unhealthy pattern of always putting myself out there for others, never asking for anything in return (feeling I didn't deserve it). I think with going raw, seeing a therapist, and waking up to my true self a bit more (still just pulling back the covers on that one!), I was able to see unhealthy relationships that I had formed. I ended those relationships and have been dealing with all that comes from such an action. In the end, this stress will pass and it will have all been worth it.

On a positive note...I have continually stayed 100% raw!!! Yep, I haven't eaten anything cooked since the middle of December. :-D I feel confident in saying that I will continue with my goal of one year raw. It is just a part of my life, part of who I am, part of my journey right now.

I didn't lose even one pound during the month of May. I think it was because of all the stress, coupled with me eating more fruits than anything else. I think that no matter how vibrant and healthy fruitarians are, some bodies just aren't cut out for eating only fruit. I think my PCOS/IR doesn't work well with too much fruit and that's why my weight didn't change. I did go down in June, however. I lost more than four pounds in June, but I don't recall exactly how much without going back to my previous locked post where I listed my weight. Currently, I haven't lost any more weight this month, however. I have a feeling I'm at a point that I need to actually exercise to gain greater health. It's amazing to me that I was able to lose over 70 pounds without exercising and simply eating whatever/however much food I wanted as long as it was raw.

My digestion has improved. I am able to eat larger meals, so my body is probably being flooded with even more vitamins and minerals. I have been taking B12 for the past few weeks, because my energy was extremely low and the crawling skin feeling that I get from being B12 deficient was getting really bad and keeping me awake at night. I am still deficient (still have the crawling skin feeling, but not nearly as bad), but things are getting better. Once I feel like my B12 is at an okay level (I need to set up an appointment to get checked, again), I'll try adding the iron that I'm also deficient in. I rarely get the feeling that I don't have enough oxygen (which is how I feel when my iron dips far too low), so I'm hopeful that the raw foods are helping my stores of iron get back to a healthy level! :-D

So, I'm back to my journal! I'll try to post more regularly, now that I'm feeling comfortable with things being friends-only. I truly want to add anyone who is interested in raw foods, I just need to protect myself from those I've broken off friendships with, since they have been making life a bit difficult for me.

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* carob coconut shake: 1/3 of these ingredients--young coconut and water, one frozen banana, one honey date (majool is out at the co op--boo hoo!!), two tablespoons hemp protein powder, four tablespoons raw carob powder

* veggie salad: 1/3 of these ingredients--red pepper, yellow pepper, cucumber, tomato, two avocados, flax oil, 1/2 lemon, garlic powder, salt

* banana

* cucumber

* Some more veggie salad

* Some leftover no bean hummus

* Red lettuce salad with tomato and apple, topped with flax oil, dried herbs, salt, lemon

* Too many handfuls of pine nuts