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Well, it's nearing the end of 2009, and I've been unwell for half of the year. (To make a positive statement out of that, I'll add that I've been well for the other half!) It's hard to believe so much time has gone by and about half a year of my life was spent in pain, tears, and sometimes fear (mostly in the beginning of the lyme disease). I'm definitely looking forward to the new year, to leaving this disease behind me while taking the lessons I've learned with me into 2010.

As many of you know, I was very proactive in finding a "cure" to the disease as soon as it was identified. I tried allopathic remedies (antibiotics for about three months), alternative remedies (herbal protocols, vitamin/mineral/supplemental protocols, aromatherapy techniques, healing massage, hands-on-healing, water fasting, prayer/meditation/positive visualization), and so much more. Nothing completely cured my body from the lyme bacteria that seems to have spread throughout my body and found favorite spots to multiply (particularly in my shoulders and arms).

When Jim found me asleep on the bathroom floor last month (after all of the "medicine" came back up because my body wasn't able to handle one more "cure"), something shifted for me. I gave up trying to look outside of myself for a cure. I sensed that my body was telling me that it could do this healing on its own, that taking "medicine" after "medicine" -- as each one proved to not be helping me -- was only stressing my system even more. At that point, when I practically passed out on the bathroom floor, I felt a sense of peace overcome me. I had given up the battle to fight the lyme bacteria, given full control of my health over to my body. How could I, someone who has so much love inside, be doing so many things to destroy and kill?

Since then, I've been building my body up instead of trying to break the bacteria down. LOVE is my number one cure. LOVE myself, my body, and trust that my body knows what to do to heal itself. I knew from the beginning a peaceful approach was going to be best, but I didn't trust myself. I was afraid I was wrong and that I'd progress like so many others with lyme -- to the point of needing morphine and a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I felt like I needed to research and find a way that worked for someone else, to have it work for me, too. It turns out, however, that there is no cure for lyme and those who go into remission have all done so using different protocols that don't work for everyone. The "cure" is individual, it seems.

I did try something a bit radical as a 100% raw foodie, however, in an effort to aid my body in its healing process. For a few weeks I tried the radical "treatment" that was ultimately a failure. But, I did learn some things from it. What did I do and what did I learn? Well, as you've all read in our Raw 101 free ebook, there is scientific proof that when cooked foods are eaten, the body produces white blood cells because it sees the food as a foreign invader in the body. The lyme specialist I was seeing told me that if my body could raise its white blood count, I might stand a chance of healing from this without any further medication. My first thought was cooked foods and how consuming them raises the white blood count. So, I did it ... after four years as a raw foodist, I did a radical thing and decided that maybe some cooked food was good for my body!

You're probably wondering what I decided to eat after so many years, right? Well, remember that prior to raw foods I used to eat organic, vegan whole foods and my body was unhealthy. I wasn't about to jump into foods that I knew didn't serve me well in the past. So, I decided to approach the "cooked" experiment in the most healthy way possible. I figured I'd cook only the foods that my body seemed to desire -- and I'd only cook them in water, no spices or oils to trick my taste buds into thinking the food was better than it really was, or to bring about a desire to eat more than my body wanted to eat.

The only foods I ate cooked were broccoli, sweet potatoes, peas, and one time I cooked some cauliflower (but cooked cauliflower caused my belly to bloat, which never happens to me when I consume it raw). Of all those things, the cooked broccoli felt the best in my body. However, NONE of those cooked foods felt good overall. They did warm my body up a bit and they didn't taste awful (I thought they would, since they weren't so vibrantly alive anymore), but I learned something about cooked foods versus raw foods.

With raw foods, you can eat and eat and eventually you feel satiated and you're done eating. There is never a painfully full belly from overeating on raw foods. However, when I cooked the vegetables and ate them, I found myself eating and eating, never feeling satiated. I would eat until my belly was overly full and feeling a bit painful, but I still felt like I needed to eat. There is something in raw foods that allows the body to recognize when it's satiated, has had enough. When those same foods are cooked, the body never receives that message. The most we can go on is that our belly becomes too full to consume one more bite, even though we are still desiring more food because we don't feel satiated or fulfilled in some way. So, if you're currently eating cooked foods, keep that in mind!?

That experiment lasted about two weeks, or so. I ate raw foods every day, too, but I ate them separate from the cooked ones (because the raw foods will eliminate the body's production of white blood cells -- it's a long explanation of why that happens, so I'll save it for a separate post someday). My belly didn't feel good while eating the cooked foods. They sat in my stomach for too long, made me feel a bit too mellow (lower in energy), and didn't seem to be curing me as I had hoped would happen. So, I stopped the experiment and called it a failure -- but one with something learned!

This healing challenge has brought with it so many things. I'm learning a lot more about myself and the healing process. I've realized I am quite impatient and filled with a desire to control things. Neither of those things is possible with this disease ... you have to be patient, since the healing is so slow, and you can't control much of anything when you become debilitated and your body is in control of the healing process. So, I give in and learn the lessons that are presenting themselves. I struggle with them, however. Patience and giving up control seem to be some tough lessons to learn. It's the lessons I'm learning that allow me to make sense of why the lyme disease is in my life, however.

Of all the things I've tried so far to help my body heal, the water fasting I did in the very beginning was the most effective. It eliminated some of the neurological symptoms that were beginning, as well as neck, heart, and some foot pain. I feel that a fast is definitely what my body will use to complete this healing process, but I'm not ready for a full fast at this point. That will be saved for the final stage of my healing journey. Right now I'm working on something else that's pretty exciting! It's too soon to tell what I've been learning and how my body has been responding, but the good news is that I've seen some major healing progress! For one thing, the pain is mostly only present in the middle of the night. During the day I am almost pain-free, with little aches, and the mobility in my arms has been slowly increasing! I have MUCH more energy and I'm able to sit at the computer for longer periods of time.

I'm definitely healing. This doesn't seem like a temporary thing, either; it feels like an overall shift in my body to one of better health. I'm super excited to be learning all that I'm learning ... because I'm not only able to help my own body naturally heal, but I'll be better able to understand how the body works, how diseases manifest, and how we can ALL regain health if we become ill. I'm not claiming to be learning how to cure all diseases or anything. I AM claiming, however, to be learning some pretty amazing things about our bodies and how we can make changes that bring about a balanced body, which then brings about healing!

The more I learn, the more thrilling it all becomes! Oh, I wish I could tell you all about it right now! But, I'm still learning and I wouldn't want to confuse anyone or say things the wrong way. I'm on to something BIG here, something that very few individuals seem to know about (that doctors should have been taught in medical school, but weren't), and something that I wish I had known about when I was a teenager and trying so hard to understand the body and how to keep it healthy! I know you're all going to be equally thrilled because you're into health as much as I am, or else you wouldn't be here reading all that I share with you! So, look to learn some amazing ground-breaking health information in 2010! I'll touch a bit more on this in our New Year's post, coming up shortly on the blog! The new year is about to begin and with it will come AMAZING transformations and growth for so many of us!

Lots of love to you,

Wendi

XOXOXO

p.s. My heart is overflowing with appreciation and love. So many of you have lovingly reached out to help me in one way or another. I definitely feel loved...that's a feeling that I've been feeling more and more since I started this raw journey. I never really allowed others to love me before I went raw...I liked to give, give, give and never receive. I'm in a much more balanced place right now...able to give and receive LOVE, beautiful LOVE! Thank you all for being a part of my life!

I love you!!