It's day one of being alone. It's too new to really feel completely alone. I'm sure it will hit me this evening. It's about 3:30 right now and it just feels like a day when my daughter has gone to stay with a friend and my husband is at work. I'm interested in seeing what kinds of things I eat and do while they are away.

I stopped working on the NaNo novel, because I fell behind and had a computer job that took up a weekend (when I could have caught up). It was so much fun last year to do and finish it, but this year since I was behind I knew it wasn't going to be the same kind of fun. I'll do it next year, again. Now I have time to do other things--like getting back into my raw foods learning and exploring even more. It's hard to believe that it's going to be December in a little over a week from now! That leaves me only about five to six weeks to get my plan in place for my January 1st goal of being completely raw for an entire year! I know I'm going to do it, I just think if I have it planned a bit, it will be even easier to accompish.

I've been feeling tired off and on. I was hoping that the iron and B12 supplements would give me overnight energy. I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I hoped for it, anyway. I am definitely more and more energetic, compared to how I was a month ago. I'm just waiting for that you-can't-stop-me energy that I know is waiting for me!

Emotionally it's the dark time of the year for me. I tend to withdraw a bit more during this time, get a little depressed, feel things more strongly, become more distant from others (and myself), and pretty much just linger in the darkness. I'm so glad that I realize this about myself, because it used to be very frustrating to feel depressed and not know what was going on. Now I know it's just a seasonal/turn of the wheel thing that I need for myself. I sometimes consciously embrace this time, diving into the darkness and sometimes working things out for myself. It's always refreshing to emerge from the darkness, all renewed.

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FEELING:

Physically, I'm feeling okay. My shoulder doesn't hurt much at all these days. I have been hearing my joints crack some more, though, and it reminds me that I haven't been consistently using flax as I should. I have, however, been taking the supplements I am supposed to be trying. I now take daily iron, B12, and another B something or other in the morning. In the evening I use the CALM magnesium powder and take that with a tea bag. I'm thinking since I don't like the magnesium plain, I will probably be a raw foodist the first year who drinks herbal tea, still.

I couldn't take the chromium. I don't recall if I wrote about it here, or not. It caused me to have these weird things happen that used to happen sometimes when I took the Metformin. It all points to liver problems, I think, so I'm not going to take it anymore. The symptoms are hard to explain. I feel dehydrated, in a way, and the circles under my eyes get VERY dark and sunken in. I also get a bit of a headache. Anyway, I don't like what it does to me, and it seems like it's not a very positive, healthy thing, so I'm not going to take the chromium. I'll continue with everything else, however. I've also been having about one Brazil nut each day, too, as the doctor requested for selenium.

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LEARNING:

I did some research on dehydrators and juicers. My husband is really into juicing and wants a better juicer. I bought the dehydrator (see previous post about it) and also ordered a Champion juicer. It all adds up, but it's all going to be put to great use! I'm on a mission, now, to find a good source for raw carob at a reasonable price.

My other learning about raw foods seems to be just flipping through random raw foods books. I have plenty of them here in the house that I borrowed from the library. I have requested Raw Food, Real World as a holiday give from my MIL. My husband and daughter really liked the recipes in that book, so I figure it's a good one to have around. :-)

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EATING:

Carob coconut shake this morning with my family before they left for their trip

small cup oj w/ Brazil nut

cashew nut milk with carob to tide me over while I made lunch, since I was so hungry

kale avocado salad

green smoothie (one part frozen mangoes, one part spinach--with one cup of oj and 2 T hemp protein) It's very bright green and somewhat yummy, if I don't smell too much of the green. ;-)